All this craziness the last 6 or 8 weeks between me and Matt? Turns out it was me.
I'd say my fault, but there's no fault in this. It is post partum depression on a massive level. I don't want to do details, but I wasn't sleeping at all and was highly paranoid-- enough that Matt took me in to my doctor who promptly put me on meds and I'm back to myself finally.
So in celebration of having my brain back, I have a positive and uplifting question for you.
What in your life makes you feel successful? Your career? your kids? Spouse? Finishing your "to do" list?
I felt succesful on a personal level once I'd been in business for about 2 years. I wasn't working crazy hours building the business up anymore because I had steady clients and I really loved me work. I never imagined feeling more successful that I was in that place.
Then I had Michael. The first few months were chaos. I had imagined motherhood to be a completely different thing than it actually was and I was unprepared for that. However, when Michael was about 6 months old I realized that I had never felt so competent.
Now, of course, I alternate between feeling like I'm on top of everything kid-wise and feeling like I need to give him to real parents who might actually know how to get those vegetables into him without a war breaking out everytime. But hey-- that's life with a pre-schooler, right?
So what makes you feel successful?
3 comments:
We need to talk! I am so with you on the motherhood/work issues! I'll try and post about it soon! You are not alone tho. I'm happy you got some biochemical support- stress is very depleting of our neurotransmitters and receptors!
I posted a blog about this, come and read!
So glad you have found the answer to your problem. I hope you continue to feel good.
As for being successful. I sometimes can't see through all this mess to a time when I was successful. It seems I've been on such a downer about my life for some time now, that it's hard to look at the positive things that have happened in the past. I feel somewhat successful that I have been instrumental in saving my marriage against all the odds. I think I could easily have given up, and it has been hard work at times getting through to K what I needed. If it had been up to him, who knows where we would be now.
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