Function

This has been one of those crazy weeks. Between my work and WS's we have barely seen each other or our son, and I'm realizing that this fact might be a breaking point for our relationship. I think WS has felt it too. We're planning for things to change on both ends, but the changes don't go into effect until May. One of my big contracts is up that month and I'm not going to pursue another big client like that for awhile. WS is making a similar concession in his work (I don't want you to get the impression that I'm the only one sacrificing here) and we just have to make it until then.

I feel like we're actually thinking like a family now. The things WS has come to me and asked to talk about have really been about pursuing the best interests of our family, and it makes me feel like I can actually plan for our future a little bit.

But at the same time, this separation because of outside obligations is eating on me. I feel lonely again, even when he's next to me for that half hour or so when he's home. There's so little time to be together right now that our time is spent on mechanics-- who's picking up our son from daycare tomorrow, can you take care of this when you get a chance, did you pay that bill... and there's no love in that. Just function. And I understand that that is how it is right now. And I realistically can't expect the same things of him as he's been doing for the past few weeks. There's no time for him to do that stuff, and to be honest, there's no time for me to enjoy it.

It doesn't make the loneliness go away though.

We both have the weekend off. Hopefully there will be a reconnection.