Please forgive yesterday's post. It is possibly one of the least coherent things I've ever written. I'd blame it on drinking, but y'all know I'm pregnant and responsibly so.... therefore not drinking.
After talking a very long time about this news with my therapist and then with my best friend, I feel much better. And not so resigned to give up.
My therapist has suggested to me that WS finally feels safe enough in our relationship to tell me this, and for WS it is another step on the road to a completely honest relationship. He did tell me very strictly though to lay it on the line with WS and tell him that if there was anything else I should know about that it should be said now. Letting truth trickle out will be a deal breaker. End of story. It was nice to get a sort of "permission" to put that into words.
My best friend basically expressed the same thing-- tell it all now-- if he won't then I won't waste anymore time on him. This one step can prove a lot to me. We'll see how it plays out. We have a little appointment with each other for tomorrow night to talk more about affair related things. We both needed today to kind of be apart from each other and think things through. Tomorrow we'll be able to have a real conversation about this rather than the jumbled mess you witnessed from me yesterday. I'm not a looney, I swear. Just upset and rambling some yesterday.
1 comment:
Naive whenever I read your blog I cannot understand how you hold it together like you do.
I let fly on my blog, the swearing comes out left, right and centre! But you always seem to be able to say things with a cool head.
Yesterdays post was a vent that you are allowed. It does not mean that you are a looney.
You are allowed to be angry. You are allowed to rant. You are allowed to vent the built up anger. You are allowed to tell him that he MUST be honest with you.
I had the same conversation with Charlie and even after reading your post yesterday I again asked him if there had been anybody else other than his mistress.
I am really glad that you are feeling better about things. It is tough. It is a hard road to travel with many up s and downs.
Keep having those talk times because they do help. We are having many little talks now and it does make a difference. We can now talk without getting into screaming matches and I have found that helps Charlie to open up more as well.
He hates talking about it because it causes me pain, but he also knows that it helps me to heal. Yes there may be intial pain but after that subsides there are less questions and more understanding.
Anyway rant away if you need to. We all understand!
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